Everyone says that life is a continuous learning process. I never quite understood the full meaning of such a phrase until recently. They also say that university happens to be one of the best places to learn. I hate to say it to all those cynics out there but it happens to be true. But you know, like me, you’ll never know the extent to which it is true until you fully experience it yourself. HONESTLY. Don’t roll your eyes at me. It’s true. I was just like you. I was tired of hearing the same old advice from the same old people. I was and still am a cynic at heart…doubting everyone and everything.
One of the lessons I seem to have discovered is that of love. As you may or may not know, I’m also a romantic. A cynical one but still…a romantic. I used to think that love came in the form so expressed in movies with the reason being that, well, someone had to come up with that story right? Someone thought about it, wrote it and created it as if they believed it existed (possibly because they experienced or are experiencing it). So I didn’t have much reason to doubt it. At least I wasn’t alone in believing in such a beauty. However, ever since I’ve hit university grounds, my dating life has soared. I’ve also experienced the heartache that comes from a real relationship. I say REAL because, for me, the years of meeting guys online from other countries wasn’t a REAL representation of what a dating life, or LOVE, should be like.
Through meeting different kinds of guys in person, I’ve learned that the rom-com’s only represent one kind of love. It’s an ideal kind of love. But they don’t fully illustrate the length of time it takes to properly, deeply and totally immerse yourself into love! And so, with the little knowledge that I previously had on love (based on movies, books and the rocky relationship my parents still have), I decided to form an idea of what I expected love to be. When I met someone online and they ticked the boxes, I thought I’d “fallen in love”…even though it had been merely a few days/weeks. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe that love has a time frame (within in reason of course) and I do believe in love at first sight. But since my real dating experience has begun, I’ve come to realize that love, for some, doesn’t always happen instantaneously. It takes time. Practice. Patience. Work. Guidance. It’s got to be nurtured.
All the men that I had spoken to that I didn’t give the time of day too could have been a somewhat perfect opportunity to learn this sooner. But see, we’re only human. We’re impatient. We want things and we want them NOW.
Now, currently…I am seeing a lovely guy who has a really big heart and treats me well. I’ve been seeing him on and off for a few months and I thought I was ready to give up after one month of knowing him. But I didn’t KNOW him. I knew of him. I decided to give it time and, although he seems to be complex now, I know it’s because I don’t KNOW him well enough. So, I’m giving it more time, more patience and work. A little guidance here and there too haha. I’m learning about myself and about how relationships work- and believe me COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!! I cannot emphasize that enough!
Also…before jumping into anything (or anyone 😛 haha), make sure that there are no voids in your life that you think/believe a relationship will fill. I know that you feel that having someone there to pick you up each time you fall and support you and love you no matter what..would help, but that help only comes when you’ve filled the void without using them. Meaning: be happy so that when a relationship comes along, you would be okay with AND without it.
Forever you cynical romantic,