A quote I read on From Guestwriters stated that we shouldn’t expect a love so perfect when the people we love aren’t:
“You can’t expect love to be perfect when people aren’t..”
No matter how good someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while, and you must forgive them for that.
The secret of overcoming hurt feelings is to expect nothing from others; thus, their words and actions will always find you inwardly at peace. You have to direct your attention outward, in giving of yourself to others, instead of dwelling self-centered on your expectations of them.
“Stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels good..” (Copied and pasted directly from the blog)
…..and they speak the truth.
I guess sometimes I forget that people are only human. God made each of us as separate individuals with unique and special characteristics. What entitles me to believe and expect everyone to be like me? Nothing. No one. I have to stop expecting so much from everyone else because, at the end of the day, they will ALWAYS be themselves and nothing I do or say is going to change that simple fact.
The friend (in previous blogs I posted) and I haven’t made any improvements since my trip to the hospital (due to a fever) and our chat whilst I was lying in bed… but I have been communicating with her mother on Facebook. She basically said to me that I have to take responsibility for my own actions and once I do that, others will take responsibility for theirs. Eventually a time will come where the other will approach me and ask “What can I do to make it right?” instead of me expecting them to make things right on their own.
I’ve learned a lot from this experience- be it a small one, it has sculpted me and taught me to be more cautious and “picky” when choosing which person I want to let into my life; not so eager to give myself away so easily- i.e. make them work for it a little. As corny as this is going to sound, I should look after my own heart because no one else will. Although the quote says to be more giving of myself to others, this experience has taught me to be a bit more selfish and concerned about my personal mental health by looking after me and standing on my two feet so that the pressure isn’t on others to “complete me” or make me happy. Sure, it’s not something I will learn over night but it will take practice. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be changing anything about who I am because I’ve realised that I actually love the person that I am. Why shouldn’t I? I have so much to give and I shouldn’t stop that because other people happen to be different. No. But I can only learn to guard my heart. God always says it’s the most precious gift He’s given me.
Well now that I got all the cheesy mumbo jumbo out the way, I can move forward and focus on things more important.